1. The Everyday Struggle with “Helpful Advice”

You’ve probably been there—someone you care about is venting, and your brain instantly queues up the perfect fix.
But when you share it, they resist. Or worse, they shut down.

It’s not that your advice was wrong. It’s that giving it changes the dynamic. Suddenly, it’s your solution—not theirs.

2. A Client Tries Something Different

In a recent session, a client of mine tried a different approach. Instead of offering a solution, they asked a question.

Not just any question—something closer to:
“How do you think we could move forward here?”

This, in essence, is Socratic questioning. Socrates was a Greek philosopher who didn’t lecture—he questioned. His style was all about helping people think more clearly by gently unpicking their assumptions. The method has been around for 2,400 years, and it still holds up in modern-day conversations.

What happened? The client’s partner came up with a solution that—coincidentally or not—was very similar to what the client had been hoping to hear.
No resistance. No standoff. Just progress.

3. Why It Works (Without the Drama)

There are really only two outcomes with Socratic questioning:

• The other person arrives at your solution on their own.
• They offer something better—and you learn.

Either way, it moves the conversation forward without you having to argue, prove, or convince.

It’s not about being clever. It’s about staying curious long enough to let someone else own the insight.

4. Beyond the Partner Conversation

What I loved about this story is that the client didn’t stop there. They tried it with their kids too.
No grand lecture, just a simple:
“What would you do if you were in my shoes?”

The result? Less pushback. More actual engagement.

5. A Calmer Kind of Clarity

Socratic questioning isn’t a trick. It’s just a better default for moments when your brain says “fix it,” but your gut says “this could go sideways.”

It helps reduce friction and invites collaboration. And best of all, it keeps conversations from turning into tug-of-wars.

Try it next time things feel stuck. You might find the silence after your question does more good than any advice ever could.