Workplace bullying isn’t always as clear-cut as we’d like to think. While most people know the sensation of being bullied—the sting of a cutting remark, the humiliation of being undermined—it’s crucial to recognise that not every unpleasant interaction qualifies as bullying. So, how do you distinguish between a one-off comment and something more insidious?

Understanding Bullying: What It Really Is

Bullying is repeated behaviour intended to undermine, humiliate, or harass someone. The keyword here is repeated. A one-time jibe might be annoying, but when those offhand comments become a regular part of your day, you might be dealing with something far more harmful. It’s the frequency of the behaviour that can turn an uncomfortable situation into an intolerable one.

But there’s another reality we often overlook: our own reactions. If bullying is about repeated actions intended to cause harm, then our response to the first incident becomes critical. When someone says something degrading or humiliating, and you feel offended, that’s your cue to address it. By confronting the issue early, you have the opportunity to clarify intent and potentially stop the behaviour before it escalates.

A Simple Strategy to Stop Bullying Before It Starts

If you find yourself on the receiving end of a comment that feels off, consider addressing it directly. Something as simple as, “Wow, I’m sure you didn’t mean it this way, but your comment was kind of offensive. Did you mean it to be like that?” can open the door to a meaningful conversation.

This approach requires a level of assertiveness that might not come naturally, but it’s a skill worth developing. By addressing the issue head-on, you may discover that the person wasn’t trying to bully you at all—they were just being a smart aleck. If that’s the case, you’ve likely diffused the situation and prevented future incidents.

The Importance of Early Intervention

The key takeaway here is to act early. By questioning behaviour that feels undermining or humiliating, you challenge the person to reflect on their actions. If they didn’t mean to cause harm, the situation is likely to be resolved then and there. But if they did, well, that’s a different conversation for another day.

In any case, remember that addressing these issues early can prevent them from snowballing into full-blown bullying. And if the person really is a bully? We’ll talk another time about how to handle that. For now, just know that speaking up is your first line of defence.